Long Term Planning and You

aka the type of self help book I should have probably invested in a couple months ago.

As of Friday afternoon I will be officially done with law school which is simultaneously liberating and terrifying. I'll still have the February bar to darken my days and haunt my nights but it's still the end of an era. Like most of the aspects of adulthood, I sort of assumed things would just fall into place by now but instead things took a left turn into what can only be described as a swirling vortex of uncertainty, optimism, terror, and pure unadulterated panic. The original vision had me plugging along at an established firm but life and health forced me to reevaluate that plan. Eric is currently building his own practice and while it's not completely off the ground yet it's slowly becoming a viable business. Right now he's working out of the house primarily which I love but sadly I think those days are numbered as the hunt for the right office space continues. However, it would be great if things worked out so he could split space with some other attorneys and maybe share the cost of support staff so I suppose I can't complain about it. It does leave some questions as to where I'll fit in but we'll figure that out when the time comes. I might just end up being less "front facing" and take over the home office mostly.

Going into business for yourself is scary. I could never imagine myself going without the security of a salary but in a saturated legal market sometimes you just have to make your own job. It's entirely possible that one or both of us will end up in a firm after we get a little practical experience but I have high hopes that our little firm will make it. There's certainly the potential for a good income if some possibilities pan out to keep the overhead levels down. On the flip side, there's also the potential for catastrophic failure. I'm still contemplating the possibility of a side job but I'm not sure what kind yet.

Probably the best benefit we're seeing so far though is the chance to really explore what you want to do. It's easy in law school to say "Oh, estate planning is totally my jam" but it's another to sit in front of a box of documents and play untangle the mess. We've heard from so many lawyers that you just have to find your niche and with that stories of people who worked for decades before finding that one thing. As a solo/micro firm we have the ability to dabble and the initial need to take everything and anything we feel reasonably competent to take on. It will probably be awhile before either of us finds our niche but it's reassuring to know I'm not going to be stuck working on whatever someone else tells me too or inadvertently signing up with a firm that would never take a case in my yet to be discovered niche.

Even more than my nascent career path though, I worry about my personal self. Law school has been the most challenging experience of my life and I feel like I lost some of myself in the process. I need to rediscover my hobbies and find out where I fit in here in Omaha. I got a lot more into video games but that's not exactly particularly social and productive. I'm exciting to get back into homebrewing but I'm more the creative director than the brewer. I'm hoping when I'm less stressed I can finally enjoy my sewing machine and makeup again. Free time finds me at a loss these days. I need a social life and I've completely forgotten how to make small talk with anyone outside of law school. I'll be spending the next couple months brainstorming ways to get out there and become a more well rounded person. This kind of stuff should really come with a manual.

Crane, Crane, Go Away

Eric and I met while on a study abroad program in Nagoya, Japan so it seemed appropriate to try an incorporate that into our wedding. Origami cranes were a perfect way to bring a touch of Japan to our decor and the meaning attached to folding 1000 cranes was perfect for the occasion. There is a Japanese legend that your wish will be granted if you fold 1000 cranes. With this in mind, I bought origami paper in three shades of purple, silver foil, white, and white with various patterns to match our overall color scheme so everything would look tied together. In my mind I had visions of cranes hanging from the ceiling, cranes dangling from luxurious manzanita centerpieces, giant vases of cranes, crane escort cards, etc...if you could put cranes on it then I thought it. It was going to be an easy way to add a diy element to a wedding planned from a distance and cut my florist bill by reducing the amount of flowers needed for the reception decor. I had a plan and it was good.

At least it was a good plan for about the first 50 cranes. Now I'm about 500 cranes in and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start trying to make origami cranes out the blankets in my sleep. There's also some self inflicted pressure in trying to finish them before we go to Knoxville for Christmas so they'll be available for the florist/wedding planner if necessary. Couple this with the fact that it's finals for the next two weeks and I'm about ready to kill past me for thinking this was such a clever idea. Of course at this point I'm in too deep to quit.

I know that one way or another it'll get done even if it means just bringing what I have at Christmas and hoping no one needs the rest before I come back for the wedding. I'm really trying to remind myself to take a step back and remember that it isn't really that important. No matter what things are going to get done and it'll be awesome because it's something that we made to symbolize the beginning of our relationship and our wishes for the future. That being said, I'm definitely going to think long and hard before adding anymore diy projects besides the ringbearer pillow (which I also need to put together still). Maybe if I'm lucky I'll finish these ahead of schedule and finally get back to the stocking I've been trying to make for the last year and a half. Turns out I'm a way slower cross-stitcher than I thought.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...

said no one with a deep fryer ever. Since I haven't updated this in a small eternity, some quick background may be in order. Eric and I got engaged this past July with the wedding set for May 2013. One less fun offshoot of this has been the need to seriously buckle down on my diet and exercise to try and undo the havoc law school has wrought on my body. I don't want to say how many pounds I'm up since the end of undergrad but it's a number I previously said would look absolutely ridiculous on me. To be fair, I don't look half as bad as I expected to since I went from a quasi-pear/rectangle to a quasi-hourglass/rectangle (depends on how much of a spread you want between the waist and hip/bust measurements).

Wedding dress shopping was definitely a humbling experiences. I expected to be a higher size than usual since the designers I liked ran true to size but having the size 10 sample fit almost perfectly was a bit of a shock. I want to blame it on my chest but waist was still on the 8/10 line. I've added about 3-4" inches on all my measurements since the last time I cosplayed so it was past time to pull my head out of the sand. At the beginning of the summer I was at the 120-125 mark which is a perfectly normal weight for a 5'4" woman but looks a bit puffy on my frame. My engagement ring is a 3.5 if that's any indication of what level of tiny bird bones we're dealing with. At this point I have a goal "spread" of 105-115 lbs instead of a specific weight because it's going to depend on how the weight comes off and how I feel. I'm never getting back to undergrad size (and I would like to keep some curves) so it's whatever point I look like I'm not smuggling a small tire around my midsection.

The high hip area is the bane of my existence. It's like it can't commit to being pear or apple shaped so the fat split the difference leaving me with a fairly defined waist, a lower stomach pooch, indented hips, and a permanent muffin top. Low rise jeans are not my friend anymore and I'm starting to think mid-rise might not be enough. I might have to learn to love the higher rises.

So what am I doing about this? Trying to cut carbs for starters. I tend to do pretty well in terms of raw calories but carbs are a great weakness. Between my love of fried food and soda it's been an uphill battle. Throw in the fact I can't seem to tolerate any artificial sweeteners except for stevia and you have the perfect storm for dietary failure. Cooking is a double edged sword, while I can eat a lot healthier by preparing my own meals, I can also cook all my favorite carb bombs. There have been some small improvements at least with reducing my soda intake and snacking. I might never survive on a keto or paleo style diet but I can try to limit myself to a 100g of carbs.

For exercise we've been lifting weights for the past couple months. We do rotation of 2 days of arms and 1 day of legs with back and shoulder mixed in. I wish I could say I was getting some nice muscle definition but my arms look exactly the same. They do jiggle less when I them but it's still a little disappointing. I'm hoping by the time the wedding rolls around they'll look more defined. Right now I'd really love an elliptical to add in some cardio. I've tried my best with a treadmill but even after working for months I just can't get past a fast walk without knee pain. Walmart seems to have some relatively inexpensive ones so it's on our list if we come into a little extra cash.

I'm not really sure what my current weight is since I don't have a functioning scale for various reasons. I do know that I still can't get into my old pants but my waist is down about 2" from the high point so I'll take it. It would be nice to see 25-26" again for that measurement and I hope I can get there. At this point all I want is for my permanent muffin top to go away but naturally that seems to be the stubborn spot. Maybe using this blog again will help keep me more accountable.